Dancing With My Father

29 Feb 2012 1 Comment

by jeanbriese in Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , ,

He suggested I dance.  After meeting with my new spiritual director, he said I mentioned the word “struggle” thirteen times in my conversation with him. So instead of struggling to follow the Lord’s will for me, he suggested that I dance.

I have to admit, the vision was lovely. I pictured graceful dancers, beautifully attired, gliding across the floor.  That didn’t seem like a struggle at all.  In fact, the vision is beautiful, rhythmic and flowing. Okay, I will try to dance.

I left our meeting encouraged at the thought. 

The Tango

As the idea of dancing settled into my soul, my mind grabbed hold and started to analyze. Thank you God for this great mind you gave me, truly a gift from You, my intelligence has been a blessing in my life.  It also works non-stop, my mind constantly analyzing. And so I began to analyze how to dance with the Lord.

As I began to embrace the dance, the beautiful vision again entered my mind.  Wait a minute, those beautiful, rhythmic movements are the result of knowing the steps, of years of practice and athletic ability.  I looked up dance in Wikipedia and found this helpful information:

“Every dance, no matter what style, has something in common. It not only involves flexibility and body movement, but also physics. If the proper physics are not taken into consideration, injuries may occur.” 

Great.  Flexibility, yeah, I need more of that, a lot more.  Body movement, okay I move, but I am not the most coordinated person out there.  Physics?  I can embrace physics. Injuries may occur?  I clearly am not ready to dance.

At this point, I believe it was the Holy Spirit that interrupted me as my mind said, “Wait a minute?  Have you managed to turn dancing with the Lord into a struggle?”

Hmmm.  Okay.  Breathe.  I am pretty certain this is not what my spiritual director had in mind. So let’s just spend some more time in meditation.

The Swing

The next morning hope was renewed as God had spoken to me and said, “I will lead the dance, you just follow.”  I smiled at the thought.  This was Fat Tuesday.

That night we went to a Mardi Gras celebration with friends at a local restaurant.  As the Dixie band played, a young couple entered the dance floor. Man, could they dance!  Every movement was synchronized as they seemingly effortlessly jumped, kicked, twirled and danced to the music.  They were beautiful. They were joyous!  I loved this new vision of dance and the sheer happiness of this dance.  Allison, my four year old, ran out onto the dance floor.  She began to watch their movements and mimic theirs. And when she tired of mimicking their dance moves, she care freely danced as she felt to the music. Sometimes she simply skipped around the dance floor in circles.  The entire restaurant was charmed by these young dancers and by little Allison.  Their joy was contagious. Oh, to have faith like a child and joyously dance!

 

The Salsa

Ash Wednesday.  Uhmm, Heavenly Father.  You know how you said you would lead the dance and I will follow?  Well, have you seen me dance?  I am not good at following.  I step on feet.  I push when I should pull and I go the wrong way a lot.  I have a great desire to be a good follower. I am just sorry to tell you that I really am not good at it.  I stand here before you afraid that I am going to fail. Afraid that as much as I desire to follow your lead, I am not good at it.  Father, I want to dance with you, I am just not sure I can.

That morning before Mass, I wrote a blog.  Usually my blog ends with a connection of the story to our faith.  I had the words of the story. I didn’t have the end, the connection. I just had a strong desire to write the words. So I thought, maybe this story doesn’t need the connection.  And I headed out the door to Mass. 

Sitting in Mass, as soon as Father began to speak, it was the connection to the words I had written only minutes before.  My morning story now had its ending. This was the second time I wrote my blog entry, to have the connection finished later at Mass.  Writing this right now, I can see God was trying to show me that I could follow his lead.  At the time, I completely missed this connection. 

At the time, I thought to myself, I am trying to write and get my story finished. I have deadlines.  I am trying to dance with you Lord, and appreciate that You gave me the end of story, but we are waltzing here and I want to salsa.  Let’s pick up the pace a little, will ya?  Maybe I am not so good at following His lead.

 

The Dance

It is two days before my next meeting with my spiritual director.  This will be my second meeting. Will he ask how the dancing is going?  How will I answer?  I had better read my Bible and spend some time in meditation.

As I am spending my time in silence today, my dancing journey flashes in my mind. Why am I still struggling Lord?  I want to dance, I really do.  What do I need to do?

And the answer comes to me that make the tears roll down my face.  “My child, stand on my feet and hold onto my hands.  You do not need to know the steps. You do not need to be coordinated. You need not worry about following my lead. Just hold on, and we will dance.”

I can picture a toddler Allison, standing on her Papa’s feet, holding on to his hands as he danced her around our living room. I can see her smiling face looking over to me, as if to say, “See Granma, see, I am dancing.” 

Lord, I am so humbled and so grateful that You would dance with me. So grateful that you have been patient with me.  So grateful that You allow me to come to You as a child and You extend your hands and your feet to me.  I absolutely accept this dance with You. 

“See, see World, I am dancing!”

One Word

01 Jan 2012 8 Comments

by jeanbriese in Family Reflection, Reflections Of A Catholic Woman Tags: , , , , ,

As an extremely goal oriented person, New Year’s is a great time for me.  I love the idea that the New Year is a blank page and I can write whatever I want on my page.  So for years, I would take the entire month to come up with my goals. At one point I even had categories for my goals; personal, financial, career, health, home, etc.    I know it sounds obsessive, and I suppose it was, but it really worked for me.  Probably because I didn’t stress on the goals, I simply dreamt them up and then tucked them away. The way I figured it,  I would do my best and whatever happened, I still came out ahead.  So I always enjoyed at the end of each year, pulling out my year’s goals and seeing how much I had accomplished. 

A couple of years ago, I heard a new idea being shared about New Year’s resolutions that really intrigued me.  The idea was that most of us make a New Year’s resolution based on a problematic behavior (or two or three) that we have struggled with for years.  So we resolve in January to fix this behavior and by February,  we have long forgotten this resolution.

The suggestion was that our resolutions seldom work because they focus on the type of person we want to become rather than who God wants us to be. So, what if our hopes for the year centered on who God wanted us to become, instead? 

The concept being offered by My One Word organization is, rather than a litany of doomed resolutions, you simply choose one word that is your vision for the year.  When you choose a single word, you have a single focus. You are moving toward the future rather than swearing off the past.  

Hmmm.  One word.   I decided to give it a try.  

To begin,  you envision yourself at the end of the year.  You invite God to assist you in this vision. What kind of person do you want to be, does God want you to be? This process took some time, as I mulled over all the characteristics that I wanted in my life and in my soul.  When you have the vision of the person you want to be at the end of the year, you choose your one word.

In my overly obsessive way, I gathered my children and grandchildren together and asked them to choose one word for their year as well. After all, the journey is always much more fun together!

I loved the words that my family chose.  My oldest daughter, a single mother, was just ending a tough year. She, like many Americans had lost her job, her oldest son had a bicycle accident that resulted in a serious head injury, (he is fully recovered, praise God!) and she was trying to get back on her feet.  She chose abundant as her word.

My grandson Christian, who was just entering high school, chose courageous.  What a great word for a young man embarking on this part of his life!

Madelyn, eight years old at the time, chose trustworthy.  When I asked her why she chose that word, she said because she really wanted to be “Student of the Month” and you had to be trustworthy.  She didn’t know what trustworthy meant, so I was happy to help her look it up in the dictionary and talk about ways she could be trustworthy.

My sweet husband chose cultivate. What a great word.

As for me, after much consideration and so many great words to choose from, I chose the word, light.  My personal mission for many years has been “to be a blessing.”  So I thought my word would be blessing.  But as I meditated and prayed and spent time listening to the Lord, I felt called to go deeper. And soon the word light came to me. Jesus is the Light of the World.   I want to carry that light and share it with everyone, everywhere.  Fear, shame and the enemy live in the darkness, but they can not survive in the light.  I wanted the light of Jesus to always shine through me to everyone.   Light became my word.

It was amazing to see how God worked in our lives after we chose our words.  At a parish mission, Father Dominic Briese (same last name, no relation) offered  a CD called “You are the Light of the World.”  A woman I work with began to seek me out to inquire about her Catholic faith, which she had left. She has now reconciled with her Lord and her faith. Praise Jesus!  Madelyn became “Student of the Month.”  Christian had a terrific freshmen year and is such a courageous young man. Candice found a great job, and her life truly was abundantly blessed as many things turned around for her that year. Our parish has a beautiful rose garden loving cultivated by S.H. (sweet husband).  Wow.   Thank you Jesus, for your unending support and affirmation. If you would like more information about how to choose your one word or support for the journey, visit http://myoneword.org/  For more information on Fr. Briese,  visit   http://briese.opwest.org

 What will be your one word for 2012?

Father, Will You Hold Me?

28 Oct 2011 1 Comment

by jeanbriese in Family Reflection, General, Reflections Of A Catholic Woman Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

It was a Monday morning like every other, and I was very focused on getting everything “ready” for the busy week ahead. Get Alli’s breakfast ready, get ready for work, prep food for dinner, make sure the house is picked up before I leave. “Alli, are you ready to go?” I called.

 “Grandma.”

 “Yes, Alli,” I responded, as I looked down to gaze into the eyes of now four-year-old Allison.

 Alli stood next to me looking up expectantly and, when her eyes caught mine, she asked, “Grandma, will you hold me?”

“Yes, Alli, yes I will. Let’s sit down and let me love on you.” A wide smile crossed her face as we headed over to the couch, and I scooped her into my arms.

Oh, the embrace. What a wonderful gift it is. As I wrapped my arms around Allison, I gave thanks for this little girl who gives me pause and helps me on a daily basis to remember my true priorities. What is more important than love? As we sat, my world, my day became calmer. A peace swept over me, so that I too felt embraced in love.

 
As I drove in to work later that day, listening to KLOVE radio, the DJ read their “encouraging word” for the day, from Mark 10:14-16 “Let the children come to me; do not prevent them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Amen, I say to you, whoever does not accept the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it. Then He embraced them, placing His hands on them.”

I need to go to Christ as a child?   My mind flashed back to Allison, gazing up at me, with full faith that I will provide whatever she needs.  Breakfast, no worries, she knows she will be fed.  Clothes and shoes for school, no worries, she knows they will be provided.  Home with her own place to sleep, provided.  Toys for playing and growing, yes, provided.  All of her needs, many of her wants are provided.  She never worries that these will be provided.  She trusts fully.   Loved unconditionally on a daily basis, yes, of that she knows.  And when she needs an embrace, she asks, without hesitation, without fear, “Grandma, will you hold me?”

Her request is rewarded with a few special moments on my lap, wrapped in loving protective arms.  She can feel my breath as I whisper “I love you” softly to her, and I feel her breath when she responds.  This intimate embrace brings us together, brings us to peace.

Father in heaven, will you hold me?  I want to come to you like a child.  Take away my worries and let me know that you will provide all I need. Father, let me sit in your lap. Let me feel your arms around me. Let me feel your breath whisper to me, “I love you.” Let me whisper back, “I love you too.”   And let our breath mingle and bond us together and bring us both the satisfaction and peace of just sitting in love’s embrace.

      Give me, Father, the gift of coming to you like a child, in full faith.

Trying On Mary

12 Jun 2011 Leave a Comment

by jeanbriese in Family Reflection, General, Reflections Of A Catholic Woman Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

It was a hot summer day at the end of a stressful month.  Already June, we had missed our May trip north to park our camping trailer for the summer months.  Usually a trip we anticipate with the excitement of an eight-year old waiting for Christmas morn, today it felt like a chore.  I was only a few months into a new and demanding job, that while I loved, was an adjustment for our entire family.   At the beginning of May we lost our beloved family matriarch, my mother-in-law.  A large family and an even larger loss, my husband named executor of the family trust, May had been one stressful month.

And then I saw it.   At first glance, just another post on Facebook.  Posted by a friend from WINGS,  our women’s group at church.  It simply read:

My To Do List:

Sing

Smile at strangers

Keep learning

Notice kindness

Eat ice cream

Hope

Count my blessings

Laugh

Love

Love some more

It hit me like a ton of bricks.  My first thought was, “Wouldn’t it be great if that could be my to do list?”  Then I wondered, “Do people really act on these to do lists, or are they just a nice thing to post?”  Finally I thought,  “Why not?”

As women we have so much to do.  I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a grandmother, an auntie, a sister, a friend, a BFF , an employee, a boss, a child of God’s and oh yeah ………ME.   Each of these roles in my life comes with its own list of “To Dos.”  Then you add in the holidays and seasons.   Yikes, I’m getting tired thinking about it.

I pulled up the task list in my phone and read the errands for the day:  Drop off dry cleaning,  submit expense report, draft business strategy for increasing hardware sales,  pick up milk on way home.

Now I should tell you, I am an extreme Martha personality.  You know the story, Jesus is dining with friends and Martha is busy cooking, cleaning, preparing and serving.  And there is Mary, sitting at the feet of Jesus listening to his every word.  Martha is angered.   And Jesus tells her that she is fretting over many things and that Mary has chosen the better part.  Luke 10:39

This is in direct conflict with our American culture. It is in direct conflict with who I am as a person. I am Martha.  I see the things that need to be done, and I get busy. This characteristic has served me well.  I am a results-oriented woman who has enjoyed success in my career thanks to my “getting things done.”  So every time I hear this story, I react like Martha. “Seriously, Jesus?  How the heck is that fair? Tell Mary to help.”   One morning I am sitting in Mass and Luke 10:39 is read and our pastor says, “Jesus wasn’t saying we shouldn’t work.  Jesus was saying that God’s work will get done, we don’t have to fret about it.  He was saying there is a time to listen to Jesus.  Take the time.”

So I moved my tasks to another day and copied Michelle’s To Do List into my phone.  I had decided that it is time for me to see what it is like to be Mary.

At first my husband rolled his eyes at me when I announced that we had a lot on our to do list and read the list to him.  But as I crossed each item off my list, funny things began to happen.  As we pulled out of the driveway for our trip up north, we tackled item #1, Sing.  As a family we took turns picking songs to sing.  What a great way to start our day! That certainly lightened the mood.  Next we counted our blessings.  This was fun as each of us took turns thinking of blessings and seeing how many we could count.  I began to feel blessed and de-stressed.   It wasn’t long before even my husband was enjoying the list.   He was mildly excited about learning something new.   After three years of owning our truck, we finally learned what the red blinking dot on our rearview mirror meant (it was pretty cool too.)  He really became engaged in the list when I announced it was time to eat ice cream.  Little Alli joined in the fun as we all began to look for opportunities to extend kindness and smile at strangers.  Alli enjoyed holding the door for people, saying hi and smiling.    The entire mood of our day lifted as our priorities shifted.  As we got down to only a few items, I admit, I downloaded an app on my phone called “funny jokes” and read them aloud until we were all laughing.  What a blessed day;   laughing, smiling at strangers, helping others and sharing all these important things as a family.

Thank you Michelle for the list. Thank you Mary for knowing when the important thing is to just sit and let Jesus speak to you.  Thank you Jesus for a blessed, blessed day.

Find time to be Mary.  Focus on what is truly important.

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